Wedding Ceremony Basics: Places Everyone!

When you go to a wedding, it appears as if everything just falls into place.  The music plays, the families are seated, the bridal party enters on cue.  And, no one gives a thought as to how all of this came together.  Usually, you have a little know-how but there are always those gray areas that need focus.  Where do you stand or sit, how to enter, when to enter, who needs an escort, etc. And, don't assume that your family and friends will know all of this before they come to your rehearsal.  (Pssst - they haven't been obsessing over the details like you have.)

Here's a little primer to help you sort out the logistics before you get to the rehearsal.  Of course, I always recommend that you have a coordinator for the rehearsal and wedding day to keep things running smoothly.  Need more info on the importance of a planner?  Check out this great post by the ladies at Delightful Day. 

(Before we go any further, I should note that this is based on a traditional Christian ceremony.  Take these guidelines and make them your own so that they fit your family and circumstances.)

Bridesmaids:  These ladies will be your attendants on the big day.  Some will have major roles and others may just be there to help you celebrate and share in the love. The maid (or matron) of honor should act as the bride's right hand, especially on the wedding day.  When you can't find your lip gloss, she's the girl who comes to the rescue.  She also has the important job of keeping your dress clean and out of the way as you try to do simple things like walk and use the bathroom. (easier said than done!)  During the ceremony, the maid of honor will hold the groom's ring and your bouquet.  And, if you have a train on your dress, she'll keep it fanned prettily as you move about during the ceremony.  She will also sign your marriage license as a witness.  The other bridesmaids should be on hand to help with anything you may need on the big day.  They should bring their arsenal of humor, encouragement and excitement to keep things upbeat!  

At the ceremony, the bridesmaids (and bride) will stand on the left side as you face the front of the sanctuary or altar.  The maid/matron of honor will stand directly beside the bride and each additional attendant will form a line along the front fanning out from the bride.  

Groomsmen:  The best man plays a similar role to the maid of honor.  He should be the groom's right hand man and handle any needs that come up on the wedding day.  The best man will hold the bride's ring during the ceremony and can also be the keeper of any final payments that may need to be given to your vendors on the wedding day.  He will also sign your marriage license as a witness. The best man should also take care of loading your bags and personal belongings into the get-away car.  The groomsmen will play a complementary role to the bridesmaids.  They usually come in handy for running last minute errands, lighting candles before the ceremony and serving as the escorts for your guests of honor (like mothers and grandmothers).  It is also common for the groomsmen to act as the ushers for the ceremony.  This means they will stand at the entrance and escort your guests to their seats. 

The groom and groomsmen will stand on the right side of the sanctuary as you face the front.  The best man will stand directly beside the groom with the other gentlemen lining up beside him to form a line along the front. 

Cute Little People:  The flower girl and ring bearer are also part of your wedding party.  Generally, they walk down the aisle just before the bride and look so cute you want to eat them with a spoon.  The flower girl will sprinkle her petals and the ring bearer will carry the wedding rings (either symbolic ones or the real deal).  You should think about where they will stand or sit once they have made their way down the aisle.  If they are especially young, they can sit near the front with a relative during the ceremony.  (I always place a treat on the front row for them to have once they have made it down the aisle.)

Grandparents:  The grandparents of the bride and groom (or a special aunt or godmother) usually have a place of honor for the ceremony.  They will be included in the formal photos and have a reserved seat on the first or second row for the ceremony.  Typically, the grandmothers are escorted in just prior to the mothers.  Grandmother of the groom is seated first and then the grandmother of the bride is seated.  It is common for them to also receive flowers for the ceremony (corsage and boutonniere). 

Parents of the Groom:  The mother of the groom is the official hostess of the rehearsal dinner and will be seated on the front row of the groom's side (aka the right side).  She will be escorted down the aisle after the grandparents and will also receive a corsage to wear.  Father of the groom will simply walk behind the mother and sit with her during the ceremony.

Mother & Father of the Bride:  The parents of the bride are the official hosts of the wedding.  Mom of the bride will be escorted down the aisle last, just before the bridal party enters.  She will sit on the front row of the bride's side (the left side) and will receive a corsage to wear.  She also has a very important job -- when the processional music begins for the bride, the mother of the bride always stands first before the bride enters.  This is the cue for the rest of the guests to rise as the bride enters.  Traditionally, the father of the bride escorts the leading lady down the aisle.  (Disclaimer - with the variety of blended families we have today, there are many, many variations on who can walk the bride down the aisle.  You know your family best and should do what will work for you.)

The Processional.  I always include the parents and grandparents in the processional plan.  They need an escort, so they are part of the plan.  (You should designate a groomsman or usher to escort each of the grandmothers and mothers ahead of time.)  Grandparents of the groom are seated first.  Grandmothers will need an escort (grandfathers follow).  Grandparents of the bride are seated next.  This usually takes place once the prelude music has ended and it's time for the ceremony to begin.  Now the mother of the groom is seated.  She will be escorted and seated on the front row of the right side.  If a unity candle is being used, she will light the groom's candle before being seated.  Finally, the mother of the bride is escorted down the aisle and seated on the first row of the left side.  She will also light the bride's candle before sitting, if a unity candle is used.

The bridal party is next on the agenda.  When the first notes play for the processional, the groomsmen, groom and officiant will enter from the side and stand at the front right.  The bridesmaids will walk down the aisle one at a time in reverse order.  (Meaning, the bridesmaid who stands the farthest from the bride during the ceremony should enter first.)  The maid/matron of honor enters as the last bridesmaid.  The flower girl and ring bearer walk down the aisle just before the bride. 

I know this may seem obvious to those of you who are knee-deep into planning.  Yet, I have never had a wedding where someone in the bridal party or immediate family didn't need a little coaching on where to go and what to do.

Comments

[LEEANNE BUCY]

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